Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize