you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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