I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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