it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
do herpes really smell.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
