Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's shark week go big or go home
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
