youre lurking in front of me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
