I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize