he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Shame is for Republicans.
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