he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
