The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
wow bdsm is so cute
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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