Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
