So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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