i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
zippers are such a cool invention
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
