You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
