it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
