you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize