Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Fuck appropriateness.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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