i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead