if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.