I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug