I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.