Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate