So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
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frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
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No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.