i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
