shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize