I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
