I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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