Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
