we have officially lost it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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