Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
