Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
