Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Enjoy the penises
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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