sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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