we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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