Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize