I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
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He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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