So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
