Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You took a bar mat shot.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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