No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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