Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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