Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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