turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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