oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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