you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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