Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
