So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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