i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
