his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
