and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
