yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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