No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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