Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
