dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
either way he was missing a nipple.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
