Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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