chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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