A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
