I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
