I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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