ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
