I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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