I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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