Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
