I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
