So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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