id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
